Self-Regulation is Essential in the Early Years
- Jan Blaxall
- 5 days ago
- 2 min read
When children are calm and focused it is easier for them to
explore,
play and
interact with intent.
“Many children have difficulty regulating their emotions.
tantrums,
outbursts,
whining,
defiance,
fighting
- these are all behaviors you see when kids experience powerful feelings
they can’t control.
While some kids have learned to act out because it gets them what they want —
other kids have trouble staying calm because they are unusually sensitive.
The good news is that learning to calm down instead of acting out is a skill that can be taught."
Child Mind Institute, Caroline Miller
Self-Regulation
Self-regulation refers to the ability to stay calm, alert and focused on daily interactions and play by managing emotions, behaviour and energy. It includes skills such as moderating their emotions and arousal levels, focusing and shifting attention and planning how to respond to situations.
Calming with children begins with co-regulating and emerges as children imitate and learn strategies by observing the adults in their lives.
Why does Self-Regulation Matter?
“When a child doesn’t develop the capacity to self- regulate, she will have problems sustaining friendships, and in learning and controlling her behavior.
He may blurt out a thoughtless and hurtful remark, express hurt or anger with a shove or by knocking down another child’s work.
Children who struggle with self-regulation are more reactive, immature, impressionable, and more easily overwhelmed by threats and violence.”
Bruce Perry, 2002
Learning how to become calm has life-long benefits.
Benefits of Self-Regulation
“When children are calmly focused and alert, they are best able to
modulate their emotions;
pay attention;
ignore distractions;
inhibit their impulses;
assess the consequences of an action;
understand what others are thinking and feeling, and the effects of their own behaviours;
or feel empathy for others.
Children need to learn how to identify for themselves when they are becoming agitated and what they can do to return to being calm and focused.”
Dr. Stuart Shanker, Calm, Alert and Happy, 2013
Unfortunately, many of us, even as adults, can struggle with this and
it is no different for children, especially for those who are often stressed
or traumatized.
How can Educators Support Self-Regulation?
Relationships matter!
With the knowledge that educators
are there for support, children grow to learn
that they can trust the adults in their world
to care for them.
When children feel that adults understand
and care for them and are prepared
to help them with their strong emotions,
they develop a sense of security that helps
to reduce their overall stress levels.
Safe in this knowledge, children, in time, will begin to rely on their own increasing ability to self-regulate, and will learn how to navigate through stressful situations
and redirect their focus to the task at hand.
Co-regulation
A calm environment benefits everyone and creates a safe place for children to express their emotions without fear of the educator’s reaction. Resilient and caring children are more likely to co-regulate their peers once they have these skills.
Educators can support children’s self-regulation skills by co-regulating with the children they care for.
Co-regulation is defined as warm and responsive interactions that provide
the support, coaching, and modelling children need to
“understand, express, and modulate their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors” (Murray et al, 2015).
“Tips for Educators:
● Establish a warm and responsive relationship with each child.
● Create calm and structured environments.
● Respond with warmth and structure during stressful moments,
and for older children in the group, teach them how to solve problems.
● Work closely with parents.
● Create a sense of community.”
Supporting the Development of Self-Regulation in Young Children,
U.S. Dept. of Health and Human Services, 2019
Always bear in mind,
connecting with children during conversations and play, and during conflict,
is an ideal time to use your relationship to help calm and co-regulate.
Children benefit from the repetition of key messages. When these messages
are personalized to each child, based on your increasing understanding
of stressors and triggers, the trust builds that they are not alone with their emotions and that others who care about them will help.
All Day – Every Day
Calm down Strategies should become common routines and modelled and role-played throughout the day. Model calming strategies when disappointment occurs.
If a prompt is needed, the educator might say,
● Oh no, we can’t go outside to play today because it’s raining right now. We were going to
play outside in the sunshine!
I’m going to close my eyes, imagine the yard outside filled with sunshine, and then take a deep breath to calm myself.
● Rhea, bravo for calming yourself by choosing to go look at books.
● Habiba and Javier, time to calm down to start quiet time. How are you going to calm?
“Learning self- regulation skills by experiencing responsive caregiving in early childhood
is very important, as it is linked to greater success both academically and socially, through adulthood.”
(Raby et al, 2015
Educator’s Reflections
“Learning self- regulation skills by experiencing responsive caregiving
in early childhood is very important, as it is linked to
greater success both academically and socially, through adulthood.”
(Raby et al, 2015)
Moving Forward….
TFL Early Years Social Emotional Learning and Relationship Building Strategies
encourages educators to implement intentional practices through
both planned and spontaneous opportunities.
We would be happy to discuss your interest in our training.
Jan Blaxall Janet Foster info@tflearlyyears.com
Comments